If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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