ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
