just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
