woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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