Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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