You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
