My room smells like vodka and shame
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
