hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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