I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my poor anus
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize