Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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