I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I currently don't understand fingers.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
