She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
