areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
vagina is talking i cant
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
