They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
