I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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