Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
