He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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