I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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