Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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