I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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