And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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