Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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