Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
