I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
