Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
