Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
