You can't special order awesome
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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