If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
high people should be assigned attendants
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
