after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We have so much sex to catch up on
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
