I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dick very happy bro
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
