I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You ruined the universe
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
