it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
