the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
