Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My cat gives me a boner
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
