i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
