There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
