Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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