My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
