I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize