i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
