Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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