The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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