Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she was so not down for the gang bang
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
