I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The ass gains better be worth it
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