sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
