bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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