Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
