Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
