Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
