it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
