I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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