this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
