I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
