Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
