I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
