I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
