Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
