Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
