Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he shaved USA in his pubs
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
