if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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