Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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