This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
it glows. i had to have it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
