ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
