she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
